THE vegan.

It's recently come to my attention that I am the ONLY vegan some people know. While this puts a huge weight on my shoulder, the vegan community should be assured that I am quite polite and generally a lovely person to know.

The shock of picking up what I thought was my veggie sandwich and seeing what appeared to be a fleshy pile smothered in bright white mayo physically startled me. My lunch date laughed her ass off and said I looked like there were fingers or something in my sandwich. There may as well have been. But I smiled, and informed the waiter of his mistake. See, fucking lovely.